If you feel like you’ve hit a rough patch in your relationship, it can be hard to own up to the problem. Whether you’re dealing with the impact of the COVID-19 pandemic or an unrelated issue, you’re not alone. There are countless couples who feel like they’re under serious strain right now.
Maybe you worry that trying to talk to your partner about the unhappiness you’re feeling will somehow make things worse. You may be afraid that rocking the boat will start arguments. Or maybe you’re secretly hoping that if you just hang on for long enough, the problems will somehow disappear. But wishing that your relationship issues will just evaporate is a way that will lead to despair, isolation or dissension.
Let’s look at how your relationship could change for the better if you address these problems sooner rather than later.
Communication Instead of Confusion
Are you and your spouse (partner) having trouble communicating with each other? If you are trying to postpone important conversations because you are afraid of facing the discomfort, you may come to regret this later on. A failure to communicate now will only lead to more pressing problems down the line. It will feel like you’re talking past each other without being able to find common ground. However, if you force a conversation when the other isn’t ready or willing, this could lead to conflict. Invite your mate into a conversation and be ready to listen to his/her point of view.
Truth Over Dishonesty
Yes, the truth can hurt. But lies create deeper wounds. If you’re not being honest with your spouse right now, you might be wondering whether or not it is really worth coming clean. Or maybe you’re scared to hear some harsh truths from your spouse. There’s a good chance that you’re both trying to ignore the elephant in the room and tiptoeing around the truth instead. But in the end, your lies will hurt each other more than even the most uncomfortable truths.
Happiness Through the Problems
You want to have a happy union. But trying to ignore your problems will only leave you both frustrated. It may sound counterintuitive, but the only way to experience real joy is to face those frustrations head-on. The only way out is through—and once you get the hard part over with, you’ll feel closer to your spouse than ever before. Of course this is not easy. In fact, it is rather difficult and friction is almost guaranteed. This will require some help along the way. However, it’s worth it. You’re worth it.
Growth Counters Stagnation
As a couple, you want to be able to grow together. You are not the same people who fell deeply in love sometime ago! You have both grown and changed since then, and your relationship will need to change with it. But if you are not ready to deal with problems in a mature fashion, your relationship will stagnate. Growth can be challenging, but it’s part of a healthy, adult relationship. And if you don’t find a way to grow together, you’ll be on the path to separation. Yes, growth has some pains along the way yet growth has fruit worth enjoying.
Together or Apart?
In the end, you both have a choice to make. You can choose to tackle your problems now and work to stay together. Alternatively, you can try to brush them under the rug and hope for the best. But this plan will likely backfire. You can’t just let your problems fester if you want to repair your relationship. The choice between taking on these issues together now or later is also the choice between staying married (together) or possibly getting a divorce (breaking up). It may not feel pleasant at first, but in the future, you’ll be glad that you decided to go down this route of weathering the storms together.
Working through marital problems can be difficult. Sometimes, it can feel like you’re not making any progress on your own, and you need a neutral third-party to provide valuable input. Reach out to us today if you’re wondering how relationship therapy could help you heal your marriage.