Life is complicated. There’s so much happening in our lives that stopping to think, feel or be as a person or family gets nerve-racking and murky. What makes our lives so complicated that we lose sight of ourselves, our purpose, values, and goals? Daily life — whether it’s work drama, school, parenting, life transitions, volunteering, children’s extracurricular activities, dating, and the list goes on. Let’s take a look at how we seem to make life complicated and why we may do so, along with excuses we may make. Finally, we will focus on what really matters.

Can you simplify your life? Let’s take a look.

How We Complicate Things

At first, you may not be trying to complicate your life. There are so many opportunities, people to connect with, problems to solve, fun to enjoy that all seem to be worthwhile activities.  Over time, things build up. The list below needs more than a glance to see how they may complicate your life.

  • Walk into more tasks, events than we have time in a day
  • Allow guilt and the need to please others to take over your life
  • Go “over the top” to be sure things are “perfect”
  • You worry or focus on the negative
  • Try to live up to what others expect of you (or what you think they expect of you)
  • Ignore red flags, warning signs, or concerns from others as to how much you are doing (or avoiding)
  • Worry about what others may think of you or feel what you believe others are feeling about you
  • Spend a lot of energy on how others “use” you
  • Keep yourself busy so you don’t stop to feel or think (especially emotional pain or sorrow)
  • You hold inside things that have been harmful to you so as to not let them go
  • Avoid or neglect the things that are good for me
  • Put a pause on self-recovery (from a breakup, loss, life challenge, history of unresolved trauma, or other things)
  • Insist life in this world must be fair when your experiences tell you otherwise
  • Live by “Fake it ‘til I make it”, or “I got to show that I am making something of my life”

Why Do I Do That?

There are many motives of why you do what you do to complicate your life. Here are three standouts.

  • This is one of those aged old questions we all seem to be asking ourselves. “Why do I keep on doing the same ol’ thing over and over again?” We develop a habit or routine then get comfortable (or comfortably uncomfortable with it). Many times routines are set from a number of changes in our lives. A loss, a promotion, a time schedule change, illness, and many other events or situations that alter our routines. Most everyone has a whole bunch of “mini” routines that add up through the day, week, and month or seasons such as autumn, celebratory events, holidays, sports/athletics, etc. Then, at some point you ask, “Why am I still doing this?”

 

  • Busy for busy sake. Yet there is more. It’s what you tell yourself about being busy that is the key for your “why”. Perhaps there are stressors, past tragedies, losses, grudges, unmet expectations, and other things that trigger you to either avoid or mask your guilt, shame, anger, fear or resentment. These are usually buried in your subconscious and may pop up or “explode” every once in a while. Then, this leaves a trail of “clean-up” followed by more complications.

  • Seeking acceptance (or validation) through pretending, status, intellect, beauty, or weirdness. Though status, intellect, beauty, or weirdness have their place in life for various people, it’s the pretending for attention and acceptance that makes life more complicated. Being accepted or validated by others is a normal part of being human. Further, being appreciated is also quite normal and necessary in boosting your morale.

Excuses for Not Unplugging

I’ll get bored. Due to the information super highway, and the world in the palm of our hand, it can easily prompt an overstimulation of our nerves and responses. When we start to slow down and switch to a more simplified life, a feeling called “boredom” pops up. “Detoxing” from the overstressed, complicated life will be difficult, so you may cycle over and over again.

FOMO (fear of missing out). There seems to be a fear of missing out on great opportunities, happiness, cool stuff, etc. So, you may find yourself trying to find the next best thing. So, more and more things, activities are added

Friends, family will worry about me if I’m not as involved as they are or how they believe I should be involved.

I got to keep going in order to survive and keep up with all the latest so (my spouse, my kids, my boyfriend, my girlfriend, my parents, my boss, etc.) will be happy

 

What really matters most?

Your sanity and well-being as well as being in tune with God helps you to embrace life while being more at peace. Let’s take a glance with deep thought.

  • Be purposeful with setting goals
    • Keep goals simple (read, pray, walk, stretch, or meditate 10-20 minutes in the morning or in the evening to start or end your day)
  • Listen first – be slow to speak; reflect and clarify on what others share with you
  • Seek Life – values, principles, beliefs of faith
  • Be authentic, be genuine
  • Reduce to abundance
  • Take a class of meaning to you online
  • Read poetry
  • Listen to classical or soothing music
  • Get creative
  • Have fun
  • Use your own brain to solve problems of interest, to build or repair before you go online

You owe it to yourself, to others to take the time to uncomplicate your life

  • Find value in simplicity
  • Determine what is in your power, control and responsibility to do and what is not
  • Take charge of your own thoughts feelings, actions, and attitude
  • Seek support from trustworthy family and friends
  • Look into counseling to help you sort out the complications of your life

Feel free to check out our our counseling services for Anxiety, Depression, Couples, Teens.

 

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