You may find yourself at a point where you need some help. Perhaps you may feel stuck in the same habits. You’re trying to cope with loss or change on your own not trusting others with your inmost thoughts or feelings. Life around you may be unpredictable, unknown, chaotic, or flat out scary. But that’s “out there” while inside there is you. Seeking peace within you in order to cope with day to day relationships and duties is what gets your attention. Now what?

When approaching therapy (aka counseling) it may not be the first thing people think of doing.  Then, there’s an event or series of events that occur when we realize we need help. Events or interactions such as a break-up, a pending divorce, or other relationship related issues pop up. For others it’s nagging anxiety, draining depression, grieving loss, struggles with daily demands, or difficulty following through with tasks. Further, you may have experienced traumatic life event/s, have struggles with addictions, fears, low self-esteem, and other life issues. It’s time to prepare.

There may be friends or family that have their opinion about counseling without ever going or having a bad experience in the past. Perhaps you have been in counseling before…as a child, with your family, going through a divorce or maybe pre-marital counseling.  Now, you recognize it’s time to consider counseling for yourself or perhaps for your relationship or for your child. It’s necessary to look into going to therapy.

Getting Ready

What am I seeking in therapy?

We start right where we are. Whether it is relationship related, depression, anxiety, grief, or counseling for a child, sit down and determine what you’d like to focus on. This may seem daunting for you but keep it simple. What seems to be out of balance in your life? Jot down these things on paper or in your phone, computer, or pad.

Give yourself time to reflect on your current situation, thoughts or feelings that keep you up at night, or interrupt your day. You may find yourself facing changes that seem overwhelming. What are the challenges you are facing? Take a moment and write these things down.

Consider the purpose of counseling for you. What outcome/s would you like to see in your life? Right now these goals may not be specific and maybe setting goals is stressful. No worries. Just jot down what comes to mind. This is where going over these things with your counselor will help you sort them out and start to make sense of them.  It’s a process.

Preparing for counseling

Now that you have written down or considered what you are seeking in counseling, it’s time to prepare. You go online, search for counseling places and counselors. You are here at this website. You read over the counselor bio pages and you find someone you’d like to connect with. You call or email a message or get a free phone consultation to determine next steps. You get an appointment that works with your schedule.

There may be some things you want to know. Topics such as therapy goals, focus of counseling, mental/emotional prep, confidentiality, scheduling (weekly, bi-weekly, monthly), cost planning, and so on. These are good items to go over with your counselor. Then, there are expectations.

Managing expectations of counseling

Expectation may be defined as anticipating a measured outcome without knowing the end results. It may also be looking to a desired outcome with an opinionated or pressured assumption. Further, it may be having hope or longing toward unmet or unsatisfied needs; a longing with strings attached. However it may be defined, recognize how you define your expectations. Let’s look at some expectation of therapy, myself, and the counselor.

Expectations of therapy 

What are your preconceived notions about therapy? Maybe you have had an experience in the past that you don’t want to go through again. However, you may want to have therapy go just as it had before. Then, there’s therapy told to you by your family or friends. They may tell you their experiences about counseling which may sway your opinion. Further, there is therapy on TV, videos, and social media. There’s the drama. There are other people’s problems out for everyone to see.  So, ask yourself, “What will counseling be like for me? What do I want to get out of it?”

Expectations of myself

You may find yourself in conversation or thought with questions such as, “Do I expect to change for the better? How will I know? What am I willing to do? Do I want to let go of my stress, turmoil?” Perhaps letting go includes forgiveness of others, or seeking forgiveness from another. Then, there’s forgiving myself.

Expectations of the counselor

There’s this stranger, who is kind, shows compassion, and seems genuine in helping me. One who is educated, trained, and a professional willing to sit down with me to whom I am to tell my story.  Do I trust you with my story? Would you be able to understand me? To see me without judgment? Will you help me figure out what to do? Help me get through this pain and feel whole again? Can you assist me in setting and reaching my goals?

Be prepared to participate

With counseling comes risk. Risk to look inside yourself through the lens of a caring compassionate mirror…held by the counselor.  A mirror that allows you to look deeply through your eyes and into your soul. You will need to take an inside to discover and pursue a life of meaning, a life of purpose. This will be at times uncomfortable yet hope for transformation. There will be assignments, homework or outside the 4 walls “therapy work”. You will need to apply yourself. Invest in you, in your well-being. Prepare for ups and downs and triumphs. You can do this!

Follow through to the end

There may be times when you want to give up, quit because this whole therapy thing is too much. Remember, you are not alone in this pursuit, in this fight for your mental health. Keep coming back for you. If you don’t like something, speak up. Let’s sort it out together.

How will I know my therapy is done?

Begin with the end in mind. Therapy is not designed to go on and on indefinitely. This is why we set goals. Counseling for many is short-term. However, clients are different and have their own particular needs and perspectives. We want to help you achieve your goals so you can continue on your life’s journey without therapy and the therapist. With private counseling, together we set the appointments (whether weekly, biweekly, or monthly).  More so, you determine the direction. In therapy, there’s no “magic” number of sessions to determine your desired outcome. You determine this.

Feel free to contact us by email jo**@************on.com or by phone at 520-292-9750

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