When Grieving Loss Jumbles Up and
Interferes With Your Daily Life
Do you find yourself in shock or disbelief over a death? Are your days seemingly surreal, filled with tears, anger, or even freakish or unexplainable relief? Have you recently or in the past experienced particular losses? Such as a friend moving away, loss of a job, loss of health, loss of opportunity, or other losses? How about change in a relationship status such as loss of friendship, being at odds with a sibling, divorce or separation from a spouse or partner? Does it seem that you get angry over “little” things? Do you find yourself snapping at others for no apparent reason? Are you asking “why…” or “if only…” questions about the loss? Are you finding yourself working longer hours or avoiding people or activities you use to connect with? Do you find yourself so sad that it affects your regular routine? Does it seem like time passes so quickly or you feel like time flies by? Does it seem that you are very sensitive or highly aware when you hear about other people who are experiencing loss?
We have seen many times with our clients who have experienced grief at many different levels for various reasons. Many times they know that grief is real but not sure what is happening to them let alone how to handle these extraordinary thoughts, feelings, and behavior. You may ask “why” am I feeling this way? Why is it taking so long to “get over this”?
If you find yourself stuck, lost, confused, disillusioned, afraid, stressed out over the loss, we are here to help. Yes, there is hope in getting through what you are experiencing in your grief. You are not alone at this time in your life.
It is our passion, privilege, and honor to empathize, listen, comfort, and walk alongside you as you express your thoughts and feelings in the process and sharing of your grief with us as counselors. Your story, your struggles, your hurts, the effects of a relationship on you are all worth being heard and sorted out together with a trained counselor for you to regain peace, balance, hope, and direction.
You may wonder why you need counseling for grieving loss since it’s just part of life or wonder if you are a little “crazy” or “off your rocker” for feeling the way you do. Perhaps you are wondering how you are ever going to get through this malaise of grief. Let’s take a look at these concerns.
Loss is Just a Part of Life, Right?
Although loss at various degrees is part of the human experience with some of these losses easy to dismiss and forget, we realize other losses are far more difficult. While loss is common to us as humans, it affects each of us differently. Grief is connected many times to loss and the outcome of the loss may vary significantly based on the loss, circumstances around the loss, the impact of the loss on you, the connection you had with what has changed or who is gone. Losing your keys or losing a game generally will have a much different impact on you compared to a loss of a job, health, friendship, break up of a long-term relationship, marriage through divorce, or the passing away of a friend or family member.
All Loss Is Not Perceived the Same
Loss may be attributed to what value we place on the loss as well as our attachment to it. Further, it may affect each person differently based on one’s relationship to that which was lost. An example may be when you lose a spouse or partner to death, you mourn their loss, struggle to find comfort from others, attempt to go on without him/her, feel sad, anxious, overwhelmed, angry, distressed, and other such responses. Others who knew the deceased or you may come and comfort you with notes, online posts, letters, cards, flowers, and a visit with you at the funeral or memorial service. However, if you have gone through a divorce, you may find a different response within yourself and varying responses from others. You may receive a few consoling notes, but no memorial service, maybe a phone call or two, and probably a lot of silence as others may misunderstand or ignore your pain and distress or you may find yourself distancing yourself from others.
How Am I Going to Get Over This?
In the time of grief, this is one of the most common questions addressed in counseling. Whether implied or directly asked, clients want to know how long they will be going through grief and what they need to do to get through it. The anguish of loss is difficult to explain and is different for each person and situation. However, we recognize there is a process involved and depending on one’s willingness to address the stages of grief in an open, honest, and real way will help them overcome the grief. Further, we have found that though grieving is a process, it is not necessarily long and drawn out and thus usually counseling is short term. Complications in grieving including unfinished grieving from other losses in the past, holding a grudge, history of abuse, trauma or other relational, emotional conflicts may also need to be addressed in counseling in relation to the grief.
We have found through our years of counseling that grief tends to be a normal part of loss and that loss is experienced in many ways and levels at various times whether expected or not. It affects us a bit differently as we may also react differently as well. It can feel isolating at times to the point of pushing people or activities away causing conflict, missed days at work, strained relationships, frustration, crying spells, and many other things. Loss may come in the form of death, divorce, health, change in living arrangements (such as moving away or someone else moving away), job changes, as well as in other forms.
If you or someone you love is struggling with the effects of loss, seeking counseling is a way of finding solace and gaining comfort through loss. Feel free to give us a call at 520-292-9750 or email to firstname.lastname@example.org.
Here are a couple of articles you may find helpful.
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